Let me clarify: winter here in Budapest is DEPRESSING.
So, I’m sad. And I recognize that it’s for no real reason whatsoever. And that fact seems to make it worse! All this grey, all this sadness is making me anxious, making my stomach tie in knots. Ugh, I’m going to end up with an ulcer!
Now, I grew up in New Hampshire. I know the cold, snowy, and seemingly endless winters. And yes, I did live in North Carolina for the past six years, so I’ve become somewhat of a wuss (who am I trying to kid? I’m a total wuss now!) about colder weather. Despite all of that, this has to be by far the worst winter of my life.
I posted earlier about how grey it is here this time of year. Let me expand upon that bleak picture for you, just so you really understand me:
Christmas time is BRIGHT here. Lights on ever street lamp, buildings are literally COVERD in strands of lights from the roof to the ground as though they’re trying to wrap it in a Christmas glow. It’s like the city comes alive when the sun goes down. It’s happy.
Not anymore. All lights have been taken down. And to make matters worse, half the street lamps bulbs are out. It seems in the mass voltage of Christmas a lonely, blackened out street lamp goes unnoticed. Well, I’m noticing them now!
Another point: the skies here stay grey even when it’s not snowing. I’ve been back twenty days. Only ONE day has the sun
even peeked through the grey. I can deal with winter in New Hampshire because despite the feet of snow on the ground and the sub-zero temperatures I at least still have my sun. Not in Budapest. I miss the sun, I miss the blue skies.
Realization: I will never be able to live anywhere the sun does not shine at least one day a week. And even that, my friends, is probably pushing the boundaries of my sanity.
And to top it all off I haven’t done any physical activity since arriving back in this country. So I don’t even have any endorphins to jumpstart my mood. And we all know about endorphins - they keep people happy, and happy people just don’t kill people (or bitch on their blog about being sad for no reason). I tried to go fencing again. I made the 45 minute trek out to the Synagogue only to find the same note tacked to the door (and yes, I am a horrible human being, but I took the note off the door to have it translated!). It seems that they’re holding lessons in some unnamed ballet studio? And they gave no address and only the instructions to make sure you announce yourself to the porter? Ugh! I need to fence! I need to hit things! If the roads aren’t covered in snow and ice tomorrow I will be going for a run. Or out to the park to go ice skating! Something! Please!
Oh! I found my contact for aerials here in Budapest! Some of you may remember that I took aerial classes back in Durham, NC (side note: that may actually be a false statement, I’m not sure I ever posted about my aerials class! If not, I totally should have because it was one of the best things I did with my time!). Well, yours truly (if I man up and actually go) will be doing aerials at the BUDAPEST CIRCUS! Holy Crap! How awesome is that? I don’t know the logistics, if it will cost me anything, or what’s required of me, but dang! I am so excited at the prospect (note: someone needs to kick me and make me go, because I will keep finding excuses as to why I can’t. And clearly this falls in the “once in a lifetime” category, right?)
Dad came up with a good suggestion also to alleviate my depression/ stress/ funk. We all know how much I love the Opera House. Well, they give tours during the day to people from all over the world in a bunch of different languages. Ask anyone of my friends here - I know far too much about the whole building. I may just go see if they need anyone to give tours! Hello dream part-time gig for me! Who knows if it will work out, but you never know till you ask, right?
Okay, I’m going to bed now. Sorry for the blah post. I’m trying to regain my wit, but I think I used up all I got right now on yesterday’s John Mayer post. Just wait, the sun will come out, I’ll do a little photosynthesis, and I’ll have you cackling so loud I’ll hear you from Budapest.
oh, one final picture.
Laura and I went to the Gerbeaud the other day.
Clearly, if anything will make me happy,
amazing desserts will always do the trick.
Sorry to make your mouths water,
but you just HAVE to try one of these someday!