TToT {vol. 5: Lessons Learned}

Thursday, March 7, 2013

It's Thursday again, which means it's time for TToT. 

This week's topic is a lot less fluffy than last week's animals topic, for sure. But, it's one that has been  on my mind a lot this week. This week is going to include ten lessons learned - either lessons I've already learned, I'm working on learning, or I still need to learn. Yep, lots of leeway, but can you imagine coming to grip with ten of any one of those things? Sheesh, I'm not a miracle worker! :)


1. It is perfectly okay to say "no" - or to say "I think I'm too busy for that at the moment" or "maybe later" or just plain old "NO!" I think we get so caught up sometimes in having to do everything and having to do it perfectly that we don't take time to step back and realized that adding one more thing onto our plate? Probably not a good idea. I've learned this lesson many times over and continue to learn it as well.

2. It's okay to let go - In the wise words of Timone & Pumba: 

"You gotta put your behind in your past!"
"No, no, no, amateur. Lay down before you hurt yourself. It's 'you got to put your past behind you.

And really? You do. We take the things that happen to us and let them shape who we are and who we become. But actual events? Things said? Deeds done? They're over and done with and there's nothing you can do to change them. Leave your behind in your past.

3. It's okay to put down a book you don't like - I am not sure I will ever learn this one. I will always believe, somewhere in me, that a book could redeem itself by the time I turn the last page. I know this is why I get stuck in reading ruts, but it's just how I am. Sigh.

4. People who don't make you happy aren't worth the effort - This is a hard one to learn. People who make you miserable? That make you judge yourself? That make you uncomfortable? That you feel like you have to force your friendship? Friendships that are so one sided it hurts? Those are not healthy for you. Friendship or romantic or any other sort of relationship. The thing is, if you take a 'friend' who makes you miserable and stop calling them? Or un-friend them? Chances are they won't notice for weeks, months, or years. 

Source: via Dara on Pinterest

5. 'Friends' is a totally different word than Facebook makes it out to be - Friends are people you love and care about and your relationship makes both people involved happy. Friends support you. You can call friends up in the middle of the night and be upset about something. You call friends with good news or bad news. You are who you genuinely are around friends. Friends are not people you went to high school with and haven't talked to since, but you like to stalk their wedding/baby/disastrous photos. Or people you met once at a party when you were on Spring Break. What a distorted view of friendship we have these days.

6. You need some time every day for you - Whether it's an afternoon run at the gym, a yoga class, 30 minutes of reading or journaling before bed, a walk with your dogs, a phone call with your best friend. Your life is for you and you need to take time every day to honor that. We're so focused on doing for others that we forget that we're the ones living our own lives.

7. Floss - Seems silly. But it pays off. One time my dentist told me that if I didn't start flossing better it would cost me over $3K in dental bills. You bet I started flossing like it was my job. Guess who's dentist now says her teeth and gums are looking amazing and better than most of his patients. I'll give you a hint: it's me. 

8. Punxsutawney Phil is a LIAR - How do I get a job where I only have to be right 30% of the time and still keep my job. Winter's over, Phil? YEAH RIGHT. 

9. What's supposed to happen, will happen - Yes. I am still dealing with the whole rejected by Grad School # __ these days. And yes, it still sucks and hurts just as much as the first time every single time. And while I realize that it's okay, what will be, will be? It's still hard to just let go of that upset feeling that resonates through me. To let go of the thoughts of failure and unease. To just understand that things will fall in place eventually. That there's a plan out there for me, even if it's clouded over right now.

10. Don't take everything to heart - This goes a lot with the last one. It is also the one that I am having the hardest time working on. I cannot tell you how many times in the last few weeks I've heard "you need to not take everything so seriously." Actually I can. It's been three times. But? That's a lot of times. And I do. I know it. I'm overly sensitive to a lot of things. Someone responds to a question with a short or terse response? They're most likely not mad at me. I get a bit of constructive criticism? Yeah, my brain drops the constructive part and automatically sees it as a reprimand. My gut reaction sometimes is to get defensive and upset. But it's not necessary or healthy or true. Go with the flow, Courtney! Roll with the punches! Let it slide off your back!

Want to post your own list? Just comment with a link to your list, maybe soon I'll start adding a link up. And maybe (hinthint) someone would want to make me a button? Because we all know that I'm not techno-smart for things like that!


  1. I really need to learn how to say NO myself. It's so hard to do, as I HATE to disappoint people. Sometimes, however, we have to put our sanity first:)

  2. awesome job with this!! I definitely need to pay more attention to....1, 4 and 7 :)

    1. I find those to be hard ones too :) It's a constant battle trying to remember them!

  3. Such a lovely post! I definitely need to focus on the making more time for myself one and saying no! It's not one of mu skills but I plan to work on it this year!

    1. It is really hard. I totally needed the reminder!

  4. Wonderful thoughts and so true! I am still learning to let go of people that don't need to be in my life. That's a hard one for me!


    1. It's SUCH a challenge for me. I find that I always try to hope that people can change. Especially if they used to be good and a positive part of my life.

  5. Thanks for this list, Courtney! These are all things that I am trying to remind myself to remember and keep in practice. I decided when I turned 29 in January that I would do my best to make this year about doing what I wanted to do to achieve goals, make myself happy first, and not worry excessively about pleasing other people. It's hard for me to say "no" to people and I am always guilty of putting other people's happiness above mine to the point that I stress myself out over it.

    Thanks for putting this into perspective! I wish you the best in remembering to do all these things, as well. :)


Thank you all so much for your comments! I'm only happy when I have comments. Really. You are contributing to my future happiness right now! XOXO